Would You Know if Someone Was Gaslighting You?

Gaslighting is a form of emotionally and mentally abusive behavior that has been used since relationships first existed. It’s a manipulative tactic used to gain control and tear the other person down. It can be done in private or subtle ways in public, and if you’re not sure if you’re being gaslit, it’s important to be aware of the phrases and techniques used.

Here are some phrases and techniques to watch out for:

“You’re just overly sensitive about everything.”

Gaslighters will often try and convince someone they’ve hurt that they’re just being too sensitive. They are trying to shift the blame to you and make you believe you’re at fault because of your feelings. But there’s nothing wrong with being sensitive.

“You have to stop overthinking everything, babe!”

When someone tells you how they feel or that they’ve been hurt and you respond with this phrase, you’re likely gaslighting them. You can’t overanalyze how someone feels. If your partner or friend talks to you about their feelings or how you’ve hurt them, it should be acknowledged. When someone says you’re overanalyzing, it’s just an excuse to avoid being accountable for their actions.

“How can you say you love me when you always want me to change?”

Gaslighters often try to put the focus on their own needs, making you believe that if you really love them, you should be able to overlook anything to make them happy. They want you to feel bad for having expectations for them in your relationship.

“I didn’t say that. You’re putting words in my mouth.”

Gaslighters will often deny saying the things they said or that you heard them say. Unless you have them on record, in a text, or an audio recording, they’ll deny saying the things they said.

“You made me do that — I didn’t have any other choice.”

Cheaters often say this, but it can apply to a variety of situations. They might say, “I wouldn’t have stayed so late at the bar if you weren’t nagging at me to come home.”

“Can’t you just love me the way I am?”

This is a way of making you feel guilty and doubt the validity of your own feelings. He want you to wonder if you’re asking to much. He wants to make you think your have unreal expectations.

“You’ll never find anyone else that will love you the way I do.”

This is a manipulative way of keeping you under their control. A gaslighter will remind you about how many failed relationships you’ve had and make you think that they didn’t work out because of you.

If you’re in a relationship with someone who is trying to control you by gaslighting you, it’s important that you recognize their behavior and take steps to protect yourself. Seek help and advice from family, friends, and professionals if you need it.